It all started with some childish love that you hold hands and you feel like OMG we are so together, but you're actually being like six years old or something, I guess everyone must have had a love like this!
When I started to grow a little older I was going to parties, and you know there are a lot of people kissing on that kind of parties, I was like fourteen years old.
With my friend I went to a party, and when the time came we must leave, we both said: okay, we won't leave before we have kissed someone! I said: yeah, well.. If there's just now two boys falling out of the air and want to kiss us..
Well, that actually happened! We both were just afterwards like smiling, not talking, only thinking: OMG I've been kissed, just one second ago!
But that summer vacation I went to Thailand with my family, we went on a road trip for three weeks, with a group. In that group was a guy, seventeen years old and I was still fourteen.
I was a little like I wanted to have a boyfriend on vacation, just on vacation.
He told me he liked me, and I said; well I like you too!
I didn't believe him but he was a little claiming me sometimes, he immediately said he wanted to be my boyfriend back home also. He said he loved me, I feel really bad about it but I just didn't feel that way! Everytime I didn't have time for him he went mad, and one time he came to my school and that was it for me, I said we'd better be just friends, and he left, and if I talk to him now he's just being very mean and stupid, so I don't keep myself busy with that anymore..
But what's going on NOW, I'm gonna tell you..
This was the first time I fell in love, on a kind of irregular way. I don't know why but it's already lasting more than a year! I can't stop thinking about him, although I know it's never going to work out..
At first I didn't even see him, but ever when I started to talk to this guy, I just couldn't stop contacting him as much as I could. But the reason why I know it's never going to work out, is because he is in a very strong relationship.
I don't know why he keeps contacting me, I talk to him very often, but you know.. Sometimes I think he likes me, but yeah.. He has a girlfriend who he's really in love with..
But sometimes he's just going to far for someone who doesn't give a shit about me and that confuses me so much! When you get handholding, sweet messages and just in the way he isn't susposed to do when you're not in a relationship.. And this is lasting for such a long time! Get me why I'm confused much?!
How is it going with your love life? Do you have problems or questions about it?!
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1 opmerking:
That's just not how it works, I get you are confused, but if you has a girlfriend, you should let it go you can get a way better man or boy who truely loves you right, I know it's hard, but you should choose for yourself now, just like you say we should do!
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