zondag 14 april 2013

How Love Feels

Actually the new song I wrote a few days ago is called like this, but today I really want to talk to you aout my love life.. In like all years..

It all started with some childish love that you hold hands and you feel like OMG we are so together, but you're actually being like six years old or something, I guess everyone must have had a love like this!
When I started to grow a little older I was going to parties, and you know there are a lot of people kissing on that kind of parties, I was like fourteen years old.
With my friend I went to a party, and when the time came we must leave, we both said: okay, we won't leave before we have kissed someone! I said: yeah, well.. If there's just now two boys falling out of the air and want to kiss us..
Well, that actually happened! We both were just afterwards like smiling, not talking, only thinking: OMG I've been kissed, just one second ago!
But that summer vacation I went to Thailand with my family, we went on a road trip for three weeks, with a group. In that group was a guy, seventeen years old and I was still fourteen.
I was a little like I wanted to have a boyfriend on vacation, just on vacation.
He told me he liked me, and I said; well I like you too!
I didn't believe him but he was a little claiming me sometimes, he immediately said he wanted to be my boyfriend back home also. He said he loved me, I feel really bad about it but I just didn't feel that way! Everytime I didn't have time for him he went mad, and one time he came to my school and that was it for me, I said we'd better be just friends, and he left, and if I talk to him now he's just being very mean and stupid, so I don't keep myself busy with that anymore..

But what's going on NOW, I'm gonna tell you..
This was the first time I fell in love, on a kind of irregular way. I don't know why but it's already lasting more than a year! I can't stop thinking about him, although I know it's never going to work out..
At first I didn't even see him, but ever when I started to talk to this guy, I just couldn't stop contacting him as much as I could. But the reason why I know it's never going to work out, is because he is in a very strong relationship.

I don't know why he keeps contacting me, I talk to him very often, but you know.. Sometimes I think he likes me, but yeah.. He has a girlfriend who he's really in love with..
But sometimes he's just going to far for someone who doesn't give a shit about me and that confuses me so much! When you get handholding, sweet messages and just in the way he isn't susposed to do when you're not in a relationship.. And this is lasting for such a long time! Get me why I'm confused much?!

How is it going with your love life? Do you have problems or questions about it?!
Leave a comment!
X Maartje

1 opmerking:

Anoniem zei

That's just not how it works, I get you are confused, but if you has a girlfriend, you should let it go you can get a way better man or boy who truely loves you right, I know it's hard, but you should choose for yourself now, just like you say we should do!